Couples Are Confessing The "Secret" Gross Things They Do In Private, And I'm Actually Speechless

<p>We asked the couples of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the grossest things they secretly do. Here are the funny, weird, and wild results. 1. "My husband and I weigh ourselves before and after we poop so we can compare who had the biggest poop and claim victory. I don’t know what victory does, but we just walk around feeling really good about our big turds." — faiths4d06 2. "My boyfriend and I love Sour Patch Kids, but I’m a real wuss when it comes to the sour part. He puts the candy in his mouth to suck off all the sour stuff, and when he's done I'll eat the sweet part." — channingt 3. "My boyfriend is super hairy, and every month or so he gets me to take close-up pictures of his butthole to see how hairy it is." — lizziej45546 4. "Sometimes I’ll show my fiancé the massive amount of blood that pools in the toilet during my period." — indiaj42a 5. "I LOVE popping my boyfriend's pimples, but he hardly gets them anywhere other than his butt. We’ve gotten to the point where he just pulls down his pants and lets me go to town." — laurenb4b208 6. "My husband has picked something out of my teeth and eaten it before." — secretsecret 7. "During and after my pregnancy, my boyfriend helped me poop when I was constipated. He also put hemorrhoid cream on my anus and checked to see if my hemorrhoids were getting better." — relley 8. "I have veneers on my teeth, so I’m not supposed to take bites out of whole apples. Sometimes if we're out and don't have a knife, my husband will take a bite, spit it out in his hand, and give it to me so I can have some." — laurab4dc4 9. "I pee in every shower I’m ever in, so if we’re sharing a shower, that means he's getting peed on too." — frozenbanana 10. "We both share one razor for our faces...and everywhere else on our bodies." — larryt438dd 11. "He always cracks my toes for me, religiously, every day, no matter what kind of shoes they’ve been cooped up in or what kind of blisters I’ve gathered." — brookelaurenl 12. "When my boyfriend and I have to burp, we run to the other person's face and belch as loudly as we can, like it's a contest." — sunshineginger 13. "We do this thing called 'fart bombing.' If you fart, you have to grab a handful of air and throw it in the other person's face. It’s disgusting, and it started as a joke, but now it’s war." — laceyk4b42 14. "We always send each other pictures of our poop. We don't have a fetish. It's just sort of become an inside joke." — stefanian3 15. "If one of us sees that the other has a bat in the cave, my boyfriend and I will pick each other’s noses to get the boogers out. He started it." — erikap4ed12 16. "Sometimes I'll take a sip of a drink and go to kiss my boyfriend and slowly spit the drink into his mouth. It only works from my mouth to his because when he tries it I can’t help but laugh and spill it on myself." — hannahr43f9 17. "Whenever we’re cuddling and my husband is shirtless, I’ll stroke his armpit hair and ask him if he wants me to braid it. He always says no, but for some reason I feel compelled to ask." — victoriaf4f2309 18. "We share the same toothbrush." — aubreyb40c8 19. "My boyfriend and I have a lake house, and the area has a lot of ticks, so every night we check each other's buttholes for ticks." — macyb4a73 20. "When I’m tired of my gum, he’ll hold out his hand for me to spit my gum into and will pop it in his mouth and chew it for a bit. We have fun." — rebekahjordanr 21. "I have been known to pick crumbs out of my partner's beard and eat them." — staceyr41d3 22. "I often pick the lint out of my boyfriend's belly button." — ramiimani 23. "If my boyfriend gets a sunburn and his skin starts to peel, I'll sit on the couch and peel his flaky skin off for him while he watches TV." — danielles477 24. "My boyfriend has huge pores on his nose, and they fill up with all sorts of grime. If I win a bet or something, my prize is five minutes of uninterrupted pore squeezing. If I haven't won anything in a while, I'll straight-up offer him money or a sexual favor to let me squeeze his pores. I need help." — dagmarmariab 25. "We use the same toothbrush, deodorant, and sometimes underwear and socks. We're a same-sex couple and have been together for 18 years, and some would say we're probably too comfortable with each other, but, we just don't care." — pappydanger 26. "Sometimes my wife and I will just be cuddling in bed, and I’ll roll over, stroke her face, and say, 'Your skin is so soft...I can’t wait to wear it.' It’s an odd joke, and I’m not sure how it started, but we say it to each other often." — leslier42cb 27. And finally: "I’m not sure if anyone else knows this, but you can pull up on the skin and blow up an uncircumcised penis like a balloon. Have we done that on multiple occasions? Yes. Does it still make us laugh every time? Yes again." — k_supreeze Do you have any other gross confessions you want to share? Feel free to drop them in the comments! Note: Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.</p>